


Burn

by Daenerys Targaryen (VampAngel79), VampAngel79



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: A Dark Comedic Little Tale of Vengeance, Alcohol Induced, And I can, Anti-Jon, Anti-Starks, Attempt at Humor, Because it's fanfic, Besides the dagger she already got rid off ;), Blasphemy, Crackfic Maybe???, Daenerys Targaryen IS a Mad Queen, Dany POV, Dany has some stuff to get off of her chest, Dark Humor, Dark!Daenerys, Don't Like Don't Read, F/M, Fire & Blood, Fuck the Starks, Humor, If you don't know what a satire is: google it!!!, Mad Queen Daenerys Targaryen, Not to be taken seriously, Other, READ THE FREAKING TAGS FIRST, Revenge, Satire, THIS IS A SATIRE, To amuse myself, Weird AF Humor, anti-north, crass - Freeform, cursing, dark humour, for the lols, fuck the north, not sure, twisted sense of humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22997041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampAngel79/pseuds/Daenerys%20Targaryen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampAngel79/pseuds/VampAngel79
Summary: ASATIREinspired by this quote:"Lord Jesus be revealed from heaven with His mighty angels. In flaming fire thou shalt take vengeance. Burn, motherfucker, burn." - June Osborne, The Handmaid’s TaleThe Mad Queen gets her revenge.READ THE TAGS FIRST, PLEASE!
Relationships: Daenerys Targaryen & The Starks, Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen (past), Jon Snow/Sansa Stark/Daenerys Targaryen, Sansa Stark & Daenerys Targaryen
Comments: 94
Kudos: 34





	Burn

**Author's Note:**

> **READ THE TAGS FIRST, PLEASE!**
> 
> Hi guys! So, here I go again...Yet another fic (a very short one, even with the upcoming chapters). 
> 
> Here's the thing, I can't sleep. My insomnia has been off the charts lately. So, I just wrote this after drinking a full glass of wine. I don't drink alcohol ever (don't like the taste), although the French have been trying to convert me for years with their Chablis & Sauternes. My Great-grandmother was French, and I still have French cousins. So, why not?
> 
> The point is I'm tipsy AF. 
> 
> This story came into my head while I was looking at some of my favourite pop culture quotes, looking for one I'll post in the beginning of the next chapter of my Jonerys Modern Setting AU fic. 
> 
> I was writing this (and still am) to amuse myself. I have a weird sense of humour, so fair warning.
> 
> If I can get one chuckle from any of you guys, it'll be worth posting it. 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it!
> 
> **HAVE YOU READ THE TAGS? PLEASE DO BEFORE READING IT!**

**_Illustration: "Queen of the Ashes" by @2mindsstudio_ **

*****************

Daenerys Targaryen had acquired a couple more titles, even after, well, her rather brief death.

She was The Unburnt. The Mother of Dragons, well, The Mother of A Dragon now.

Plus, all the other ones. Blah, blah, blah… On and on they went.

But now she had TWO NEW ones:

THE REBORN

And

THE MAD QUEEN.

She was pleased as punch about both.

First, she was alive. Well, alive again. Reborn. She had indeed died. Her murderer was very good at this type of work, no matter how much he liked to proclaim that he didn’t enjoy it. Could have fooled her. Well, he HAD fooled her.

He was such a whine little bitch, wasn’t he?

_"I don’t want it.”_

Jesus H. Christ, she had heard that line quite a bit. Hadn’t she? URGH! He had been just like a toddler stomping his foot and resisting to eat his vegetables, consequences be damned. But, instead of affecting his health, it had affected HERS. It was enough to drive anyone MAD, really. How did mothers dealt with that all the time without going MAD too? 

She wished she could tell him now: “Well, you didn’t get it did you? Bully for you, dumbass. How's your life now freezing your ass off beyond the Wall? Exiled by your own precious Stark family, while they all got what they wanted. After using and manipulating you, just to write you off after you had become useless to them, huh?”

She hadn’t gotten it either, though. Well, not yet…

He hadn’t even managed to kill her for good. He had never even considered the possibility that she could be brought back, had he? Even though he had been resurrected himself three days after his own death, after being stabbed in the heart by traitors that were suppose to be loyal to him. 

The irony, it burned. Well, not her. She was The Unburnt, after all.

Jon Snow wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box, was he?

She might be MAD, but at least she was intelligent.

If she hadn’t check it herself, quite throughly, once upon a time; she would have said he had no balls at all.

That made her wonder… Did eunuchs have balls? Or did they just cut off the pointy end? Maybe that’s why they liked spears?

She mused briefly...

Secondly, she was MAD. She was MAD as hell. She was SO FUCKING PISSED OFF!

And she was also MAD, as in utterly bonkers. Razing a city of about a million people to ashes, type of crazy.

Just because nobody had ever realised her true weakness. Her Achilles heel. She had hidden it too well. She had VERY sensitive ears, okay? That loud as fuck bell ringing on and on had annoyed the sanity out of her. Not to mention the headache it caused. Did it have to be so fucking LOUD? 

Not that she cared. She didn’t give one flying fuck about it now.

It was liberating. Freeing, really. Empowering too.

Well, aside from the all consuming RAGE.

She wanted revenge.

She wanted to stoke the flames that were feeding her fury. Or did she want to abate them?

She wasn’t sure about the "correct nomenclature", MAD as she was. Let the Gods flip a coin, right?

Why concern herself with small matters such as the correct use of a language. She thought she was quite eloquent for a MAD woman. She never did get a formal education.

Either way it wouldn’t change the outcome. Not for them.

Payback was a bitch, and now Daenerys Targaryen was the biggest bitch in the universe.

Well, not the biggest. That place was currently occupied by Sansa Stark.

She and her son (he was such a good boy) were currently on their way North to solve that very issue.

Daenerys was a VERY competitive person. She took pride in being THE BEST at everything she did. Plus, the bitch had it coming…

The above gif = A "PG-13 Version Preview" of Chapter 2!

**Author's Note:**

> So? Any thoughts?
> 
> I'm going to continue writing it right now. I'm having a great time doing it. 
> 
> Now, do you guys want the rest or is this utter crap? Funny or not at all?
> 
> I'm cracking myself up writing it, but that may be the alcohol talking and my own very weird/twisted/dark sense of humour. 
> 
> I'm dark and twisty. I'm Meredith Grey, truly. Though a Lawyer, not a Surgeon. (If anyone here FULLY gets this reference: I love you!) ;)
> 
> Let me know, please?
> 
> Thanks in advance!


End file.
